chris (christowang) wrote,
chris
christowang

Al Queda runs Verizon

Most people would assume this is a story seen on the The Onion or maybe on the front of one of those tabloid magazines that sit by the counter at the grocery store. This is far from the truth for I have actually proof that Al Queda runs Verizon secretly, and they use this power to find weakness's in the American system of protection.

Reason #1: Al Queda and Verizon both teach their base line members remedial tasks. For instance, if you watched the news you have seen these Training Camp Videos and you have seen the trainees do things like climb the monkey bars. Just now I got off the phone with Verizon DSL Tech Support and here is a portion of the conversation.

Representative: We will have to go into your router to change some settings.
Me: OK, I'm logged in.
Representative: Can you please open up your browser?
Me: Yeah, I have it opened, I'm logged into the router, what do you want me to change?
Representative: In your browser type 192.168.1.1 in the Address bar.

Reason #2: Phones didn't work in Manhattan during September 11th. Verizon says too much Traffic on their network. I think not.

Reason #3: Blame shifting. If Al Queda is blamed for an attack, they say "I don't know", but public say we are glad that they have done these deeds, and it is what they deserve. Verizon, if your service gets messed up and you call up, the "computer" had problems and it will be fixed shortly. Our Engineers are working on the problem, and it has to do with someone else not us, that caused the problem.

Reason #4: The Taliban had a Monopoly of a government in Afghanistan. Verizon has a Monopoly for cell phone usage. They don't care if you leave, cause they know you can't get good coverage with anyone else. The Taliban knew people couldn't leave.

Reason #5:
C:\>ping alqueda.com

Pinging alqueda.com [216.34.94.186] with 32 bytes of data:

Request timed out.
Request timed out.
Request timed out.

C:\>ping verizon.net

Pinging verizon.net [206.46.189.11] with 32 bytes of data:

Request timed out.
Request timed out.
Request timed out.
Request timed out.

And now that I have wrote this article my Internet connection still is ridiculously slow.
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